Citas (Quotes)
Viendo cierta página me encontré cosas muy cómicas y decidí hacer un post de citas =)
Tanto para compartirlas, como de fácil acceso para mí hehehehe.
Saludos
masturbating is like doing heroin. the first time you do it, it’s awesome and it only takes a little bit to get you off. as you become more addicted to it, it takes more and more each time to reach that same high. soon you find yourself masturbating to beastiality, scat porn, etc., until you can no longer achieve an erection unless your sniffing your sisters panties.
Never do it after chopping up jalepeno peppers.
Even if you wash your hands 3 times.
Unless you like the feeling of having your dick on fire.
No, you’re not invisible. close the door when you do it.
Pace yourself… good things cum for those who wait.
Fleshlight > Pussy. Seriously that shit is so cash. Makes me cum like a 14 year old virgin everytime. and it doesn’t back talk to you later. Down side, can’t rape it. oh well nothing is perfect.
You can probably rape it. Just do a little role playing.
Set it on your kitchen table, come home drunk and belligerent, smack it up a bit…
don’t carradine: have someone spot for you when you asphyxiate
Honest piece of advice: do it when your are in a good mood and to a healthy stimulus only.
Like Pavlov’s dogs – we can train ourselves – and using sexual gratification is the easiest way to train. So if you jack off to bad feelings or inappropriate material you train yourself to like that shit. Simple behavioral modification advice – but it’s true.
easier to eat cum than to get tissue
the way to the orgasm is better than the orgasm itself.
think of it : how many times do you regret fapping just after you came ?
Seriously ;_;
Is it bad the sites I regularly visit for fap material are shockingtube.com , netporn.nl, extremetube.com, and motherless.com ? Even efukt.
I like the fact that Carradine has now become a verb.
Guys give better handjobs than women…
…why did I have to go this find out…how depressing.
LEARN HOW TO STROKE A GUY’S COCK YOU STUPID CUNTS!
Masturbating usually always takes care of a hangover.
never use a vacuum cleaner to have it suck your dick, shit starts to bleed, fast
it raises your hearing to superhuman levels.
fold a towel and put it on the bathroom counter and stick ur dick inside it.. put ur hands on top and press down on ur dick….hump the shit out of that towel
No you dumbfuck. Take that towel, put rubber glove inside with end sticking out, gently roll towel, lube, fap like crazy.
just like heroin.
i will stop…after this one last time…
I have learned that the only real reason women hold any power over us sexually is because our arms do eventually tire.
have you ever masturbated… on weed
…while thinking about jon stewart naked?
After 30 days without fapping you start to feel emotions again. after 60 days you process the emotional baggage you’ve been trying to bury by fapping. at 90 days you seek out real VAGINA with new self-confidence.
if youre too poor for a flesh light.
lotion in a ziploc and sticking it between your bed is good too.
no joke
i liek things in mah pooper
Never tried guys before… My gay friends don’t appeal to me at all… maybe if I was on another continent or soemthing. But all straightfags gotta know that beating off with somethin up your ass makes you cum twice as hard twice as fast. Fuck yeah
erotic stories are the shit. I can look at pics of nude girls all fucking day and not get hard. Read a story that spurs my imagination and I’m off to find the lube.
That these allegations of what happens when you don’t fap for so long, seem to ignore the "killing people for no reason" side effects.
90 days without fapping? You’re insane. I would be an intolerable wreck of a man. I took a vacation once, and didn’t have privacy for 11, and that required lots of alcohol, and sleep deprivation.
Not to mention, women quickly become walking pieces of meat, and conversing with them for whatever reason (some times you have to at work) is a chore, because you’re like "why is this piece of meat talking to me, and wearing so much clothing at the same time?" …and you think RAPE RAPE RAPE, but somehow manage to control your self to avoid jail time.
90 days, that’s not confidence, that’s your sub conscious misinterpreting desperation.
Your tissue box runs out quicker.
I kind of like being an emotionless sex fiend only able to achieve a boner at the most disturbing taboos known to man …
I come faster when I smell my ex-gf’s panties and night trousers while masturbating. That fruity fragrance drives me nuts, man. I don’t think I’ll give her panties back to her anytime soon.
Also, I like jerking off with a condom. I don’t know why. I hate to fuck while wearing one, but masturbating with a condom does the opposite.
I watched a girl take a shower today while I wacked off. In person, she watched me yank it and cum
First of all, arguably the best way to fap is in the shower. Little to no cleanup afterward. (and you don’t have to clean your socks) Don’t use shampoo, cause it makes your skin leathery and it’ll peel and hurt. Conditioner is best, and a bar of soap can be a TEMPORARY substitute, but eventually will wear out the skin and cause irritation. If you like tasting your ball juice, it’s best to make sure you don’t accidentally lick up your lube of choice. Stopping just short of orgasm and prolonging the experience with subtle play will allow you to cum buckets and you’ll want to scream it feels so good. You also might want to cut your fingernails.
I lost my virginity, and now I can’t masturbate properly unless she’s doing the same over the phone T_T
menage a moi
my gland in hand, ooh la la
got a new porno flick today
time to spray the room with dna
I whip it out, make a fist
and hope that i dont sprain my wrist
I lick my fingers, once or twice
cuz a little foreplay’s always nice
Every night I have a three way
when I close my eyes
some times I picture pretty girls
but mostly I just think of guys
I’ve learned, each and every time, that I feel empty. Sad that I’ll be forever alone.
Cuanta sabiduría guarda el internet =)